Mother did it need to be so high?

All alone, or in two's,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad bugger's wall.
Pink Floyd

mmm....YUMMY!! Follow-up...

Just to let you know, the almond filled cookie crusts weren't the best, although it wasn't anything a little vanilla ice cream couldn't fix!

I am thinking either the added coconut altered the texture and made it dry or I will have to roll the crust thinner...cook and learn.

mmm...YUMMY!

I've been on a cooking spree...I say spree because there is the day to day cooking that must be done (or not, depending on the mood and if you are Nancy!). And then there is the I've-got-a-craving-o-why-not-let's-try-this-just-for-the-heck-of-it-recipe kind of cooking...and that is what I've been doing a lot of lately. It's not even the season for this kind of cooking...that usually happens to me in the winter. Perhaps it's the rain...whatever the case, it's been fun. Like for Elena's b-day we made the German chocolate cake that took all day and was so worth it...and then on the fourth I wanted cherries, and Not the Nord had them for cheap AND blueberries...hmm, what can I do with these??? So I made fresh cherry-blueberry pie. The dish was delish! Top that with some vanilla ice cream and bam baby, patriotic de-zert!....yeah, I know novice stuff for you big timers out there...but it was way easier than the gcc and in my opinion much tastier. The only complaint I had was my cherry-pitter didn't work worth a darn so it was the old-fashionied push the pit out with my fingers way...they are still blue! The next thing I tried making was baba ghanoush....more yum! If you don't know what it is, it's roasted eggplant with tahini and olive oil and so on...mmm, I love that stuff with fresh warm pita bread...however, it wasn't the best recipe...I think my tahini needed more olive oil or something, but I'm going to play with the ingredients a little and see what happens there. Today I am making a cookie crust with filling. It's a recipe I found and altered a little by adding some coconut and almond extract to the crust and the filling is chopped almonds so I added some ingredients to that as well. I will let you know! Besides the crazy cooking I've also been trying (forever now!) to get those herbs to grow. I love fresh herbs! But I gotta tell you, it has been not so successful...I brought them in because of the squirrel's affinity for them. In my kitchen there isn't a good window where they can get enough sun so I have them on a shelf with some make-shift grow lights. But it is so not happening...they either die off or just sit there with no growth. I think I want to get a for reals grow light shelf system so that I can get them going better. So what's the whole point of this post? Nothing, just wanted to share. I wish I had a digital camera I would add my actual pictures to my post. Since I am a visual person there is nothing like a picture of a delicious recipe to make you want it all the more. If you have any suggestions for the baba ghanoush or herbs be my guest. Or, if you would just like to share a favorite recipe or what you've been cooking lately, comment away...

The Art of Communication

For just a moment imagine with me a world without communication. Don't just take away words, there are many ways to make a statement. Of course the most obvious being words, but a few others would be art, music, material things and so on. Remove the ability to express your desires and needs and we would not be able to function as a society. And as an American I would say we have such a unique grasp on all things vernacular. Hey, we all know the Brits envy our command of the English language, what with our ability to articulate coupled with our style of elocution and tada - horribly jealous Limeys. The French and the Italians feel the same. Okay, that's not true.
Communication is my love language. I love to talk. Oh, and I guess I like for people to talk to me as well...In fact I've chronicled some of my favorite conversations and would like to share them with you here. Please note the depth of these conversations not only via words, but the multiple layers of emotions expressed within those words all combined to show us the beautiful art of communication...

Hubby: I was having a weird dream.
Me: Oh?
Hubby: Yeah, I was at the Garden Bookstore and they were selling cheese cake.
Me: Oh?
Hubby: Yeah, it cost $70 a slice.
Me: What?!
Hubby: I know! I walked away and she was all "sir, sir!" and I said "you're crazy, $70 a slice!"
Me: hmm.
some time passes...
Hubby: I think I've got it figured out.
(I'm thinking how he must have come up with how to do something pretty amazing like buy paint, some curtains and a new cabinet all within our budget...oh, I am so shallow...)
Hubby: That cheesecake would cost like $600 for the whole thing.

Here's a favorite:

Hubby: *very quiet for some time*
Me:(deep in thought about how to save the world I look at him and wonder...) What'cha thinkin'?
Hubby: Nothin'
Me: No really, what are you thinking about?
Hubby: No really, nothing at all. *smiles*
Me: (a little annoyed at his disregard of my need for attention and my attempt at being loved and adored) You cannot seriously just sit there for over an hour and not think about anything. You have to be thinking something!
Hubby: (sensing my annoyance and wanting to appease his loving and patient wife) Well, I'm not.
Me: *minor cuss word* Seriously! Your brain has to have SOMETHING going on in there, no matter how shallow or random, there has to be some sort of thought process going on! It is physically, no wait, mentally impossible to have NOTHING in your brain.
Hubby: *sighs* Well, okay. I was thinking, if our knees bent the other way, how would we sit?
Me: *very quiet for some time*
Me: No wonder men always say nothing.

And yet another gem from the conversation treasure chest:

Me: So who was it that said that?
Hubby: One of the ladies that works with the kids.
Me: The kids where?
Hubby: You know, the little ones.
Me: Oh. So the First Kids? I mean FBA Primary Kids? So, which lady?
Hubby: I don't know her name, but she's black.
Me: 95% of them are black hon.
Hubby: I know.
Me: (knowing he wants to be able to tell me exactly who, I try to help...) So was she tall/short, thin/fat, old/young?
Hubby: Not too old. She has big teeth.
Me: Dark skinned/light skinned?
Hubby: Not too big. She knows Renee.
Me: They all know Renee, she worked with them.
Hubby: Well, Renee was talking to her.
Me: *sigh* Was I there when Renee was talking to her?
Hubby: No, but I was. So you know who I'm talking about?
Me: Exactly.

And apparently the acorn lands really close to the verbiage tree.

MiL: I saw someone you know today.
Me: Really? Who?
MiL: I don't know his name, but he was white.
Me: Oh. *smiles*
MiL: *annoyed* He goes to your church and he knows you.
Me: (Thinking, our church has 3000 members and most of them are white.)
MiL: He was kind of you know, your age and he says he knows you.
Me: Did he say where he knows me from?
MiL: He did some sort of something with you and Jesse. He knows Jesse too, but he mentioned you.
Me: But he knows Jesse and me....you didn't get his name?
MiL: He said it but you know me with names. *excited at the memory of a helpful detail* He's kind of tall!
Me: Oh him.

Get the tree and the acorn together and it's even more fun:

MiL: I saw T.W. today, he's back.
Hubby: You did, where was he?
MiL: He was gone, remember?
Hubby: No I didn't know that...where was he?
MiL: We thought he was on a mission trip, don't you remember?
Hubby: So how did his mission trip go?
MiL: He wasn't on a mission trip. I told you that.
Hubby: When did you see him?
Me: *silent screaming*
MiL: He was on some sort of trip, you know what I'm talking about?
Me: (a pilgrimage? a honeymoon? an acid trip? WHAT?)
Hubby: How is he?
MiL: He said "tell Jesse that I love him and he is one amazing man."
Hubby: Someone must be doing things in my name.
MiL: That's what he said, he loves you.
Hubby: So where was his mission trip to?
MiL: Not a mission trip...One of those trips where they do that training thing...you know?
Hubby: He said that about me?
Me: *walking out*

Oh, there are so many more. The memories are endless, but that is all I have time for now. Go communicate with your loved ones, and use words if you have to!

She Says To Me...

I am a people watcher. I go to the store and look around at the all the different sizes, shapes and colors of humanity and I wonder what's their story. For instance, just because that couple looks really cute together, are they happy? are they fighting? are they married or dating and are they even a couple? I see a older gentleman and I wonder if he served our country, or how many hours he put in over the years at his job to feed his kids, or if he even has kids and if so, do they ever call? Look at that woman, she is just walking through the store and talking to herself, what a loon, no wait...she has a bluetooth earpiece...I am not talking about stereotypes and prejudices, I am referring to actually trying to figure them out. Several months ago I saw a girl, probably 20 if that. She was rail thin and pale and her clothes as well her body language said very clearly to me "leave me alone." Not in the Greta Garbo sense, all sultry and mysterious. More brooding and detached. We were waiting in line behind her and this gave me more time to notice the details. And the details made me want to cross the line put my arms around her and tell her "I understand, you don't have to do this to yourself anymore." But civility and fear held my tongue and my feet to the spot. Later I thought what others must see when they look at her. Do they think what an idiot and what would make a girl do that to herself? I'm sure there are a few who would cast aspersions on her sanity. Not me. I get it. I understand all too well. The following is a poem that I wrote after having seen her and then watching a tv program on the very same subject. I don't mind sharing that this poem is from personal experience both past and present...Everyone has a story, everyone...

she says to me
a tear brings more pain and lets more blood
than the razor she uses to make it go away
the feelings cut deeper and emotions more raw
than the lines on her arms that quiet her aches
and the cuts and scars that bring relief
help keep at bay the hounds of anger, grief
and shame that would steal self-control like a thief

she keeps it under control
she makes sure no one gets in
and nothing gets out
beyond her walls
or beneath her skin

and she says to me
she's covered up her beauty with a size 22
under lock and key she keeps it all secure
with cheeseburgers and fries to hold her close
she is hidden from eyes that look through her
eyes that might take a second glance
or maybe give her a moments chance
if he looks away and laughs, she understands

she says to me
it's a careful mask she's painted
held together with a smile
and no one can know that just beyond
she is drowning all the while
out past the edges
beyond whats allowed
to fit in to the crowd

she does whatever it takes
and she walls herself in
and she won't let you see
she keeps the ice thin
then at least she knows
how far you can go before she breaks...

she says to me
it's easier keeping all this in
keeping the closet door closed (all the junk that's hidden)
keeping the curtains pulled (don't let that be exposed)
keeping the coast guard away (it's safer this way)
keeping reality at bay
it's safer this way
Dana Moya 2007

Chasing Fireflies

"Men spend their lives asking Who am I when the real question is Whose am I? I don't think you can answer the first until you've settled the second. First horse then cart. Identity does not grow out of action until it has taken root in belonging." - Chasing Fireflies by Charles Martin

That's a quote from the book I just finished reading. And I loved it. It's been a while since I've read a book that didn't make me turn to the last page because I was bored. I also don't like when an author uses ten words where only 4 or 5 are needed - Charles Martin knows this and uses his words well. Most importantly I was not disappointed in how it ended. That seems to be the biggest problem I have with the books I read, the endings always seem lame. And after the last page, when I have absorbed every word, I long to read more. I want to spend more time with the people I've just met. I miss them. I want to know how they are and what they are doing.


"Words that sink into your heart are whispered, not yelled."

This one whispered.

Listen, you don't have to run out and get it but, if you do read it let me know what you think...

Don't miss out...

Someone told me yesterday that she might try something "once she got her act together".

...I told her "girl, why are you gonna wait till heaven?"