Empty Boxes

Cardboard boxes sit on the floor stacked one inside another waiting to be filled with something other than each other. I keep meaning to begin the task of loading them up, but the energy required to do so is too much to conjure up at the moment. So I walk around them resenting their presence and their implications.

I know once they are packed, taped and stacked in the corner awaiting their departure, there will still be so much of you left behind. I don't think we will ever permanently erase the traces of your steps or untie the cords you wound around us. Your words will play in the background like the muzak at the grocery store, distant but ever present in our activity and no control over the volume.

I must simply take the first step and it will be done. Yet I know I cannot box up the guilt or the the anger. I cannot tape shut the resentment or the pain. I can't wrap up 3 years of a childish war in brown paper and tuck it neatly next to the control you held. There is no box that will hold the regrets that this is what it is.

Healing does not come in neat packages. Neat packages are no substitute for healing.

6 comments:

  1. i've been in town the last two weekends and will be there this weekend, but i'm never there during the week when i can come see y'all. i'm gonna have to come to your house!

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  2. Very, very, very well written.

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  3. speaking to the enormity of the situation with well places phrases and words. this is beautifully written about a not so beautiful circumstance. I was disappointed in not seeing the word genre, but guess we shouldn't over use a great word. well written Dana.

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  4. wow, i liked it and actually knew what you were talking about...
    very hard to write about but put very eloquently

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  5. Beautifully written! Remember, healing does come - sometimes it comes and we have not even realized it! Then, when the enemy tries to come back and take over that area of our life - it is at that moment that we find ourselves slamming the door - not allowing that which we have been set free from - to re-enter our lives! Believing God with you - and loving you much!

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  6. Isn't there a saying that says something like, "guests are like fish; after a few days, it starts to smell and must be put outside"...he he. Seriously though, this was well written and I know how difficult it can be to have extended family in such close quarters.

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and remember, words are my love language...