*Scratch that and make it THREE!
'Twas a tidbit of T alliteration for you. Remember F Alliteration? You all thought I was cussing...which is not uncommon mind you, sometimes only a good old fashioned curse word will do. I just don't normally cuss on my blog. It just seems cruder (somehow) to cuss in print rather than verbally.
But I wasn't tagged for cussing or not cussing now was I? So, what am I on about? Off I go...
The VERY beautiful Jessica my co-worker and friend, tagged me some days back with a little thing called Picture Tag.
Seems I am to do the following;
1. Go to the 4th folder in your computer where you store your pictures.
2. Pick the 4th picture in that folder.
3. Explain the picture. (what, no 4?)
4. Tag 4 people to do the same!
The sad thing is, I'm at home and there aren't many picture folders or pictures IN the folders. The other sad thing is, I'm at home and the computer I have thinks it funny to sit there pretending you haven't clicked on a link or typed a few hundred paragraphs. It gets a small thrill out of your mounting frustration as you move the mouse (like THAT helps) back and forth like a mad woman. On crack. On an etch a sketch. On crack.
SO, finally when it does load I see the picture that is nominated and I am thinking "Oh dear Lord in your never ending compassion have mercy on my soul I am in so much trouble." But I play fair and square even if the outcome is life threatening or not...
Here it is:
Looks innocent and rather sweet don't it?
Don't be fooled gentle folk. If your momma told you once, she told you a million times "don't be deceived by a picture thinking it's all innocent and rather sweet just because of its beauty" or something like that...It is rather Venus fly trap in its deception. Especially with the head turned to the side and those beautiful eyes smiling back at you. Oh, but sweetness turns bitter with the slightest of ease and this one can morph in to an unrecognizable beast in a half a turn of the knob.
The fact is, this picture is from (almost exactly) one year ago. The childling (and her brother) just got her braces on and we wanted some pictures to show progress. Somewhere in the time since then she's decided all pictures either before-braces-or-just-after-braces shall henceforth be spat upon, torn to tiny little pieces and then after pouring copious amounts of acid upon them they shall be burned. And, henceforth, anyone in possession of aforementioned contraband shall be spat upon, torn in to tiny little pieces and then after pouring copious amounts of acid upon them they shall be burned. And hanged. Oh and then quartered. While hungry. While she screams at you.
But that's the risk I take in order to bring you the kind of honest blogalism you deserve.
Next we have the 8 Things Tag:
The ABSOLUTELY gorgeous Mrs. Ali from across the pond has tagged me for the following (here's where the THIRD tag comes in...) and the ABSOLUTELY ravishing Miss Sharona also from across the pond if only in our heart:
8 TV Shows I Watch -
2. American Idol
3. What I Like About You
4. Tyler's Ultimate, Malto Mario, Barefoot Contessa, Paula Deen and the Iron Chef and just about anything on the Food Network because I'm addicted to cooking shows.
5. Dancing With The Stars
6. CSI: Las Vegas (I also watch NY and Miami as well as NCIS)
7. Um...really, don't watch much tv.
8. My husband asked me to put this: Monday Night Football.
8 Favorite Restaurants -
Oh this is a little hard since the surgery. But, I will list previous and still very worthy of eating at favorites.
1. Starbuck's. So, yeah, not technically a restaurant I know...however they do serve food (which I don't eat) but I am there more often than any other place listed below.
2. Taste of Texas
4. P.F. Chang's
5. Spanish Flower
6. Yia Yia Mary's (yes, Jessica my love, still. I think you just went on an off day)
7. (my husband asked me to put this): Casa de Moya
8. Fogo de Chao
8 Things That Happened To Me Today (actually this was several days ago, I've just not had time to post!)-
1. Made coffee at home. (that is major happenings folks, if you know me)
2. Talked to my heavenly Father.
3. Went for a walk. It rained I went home.
4. Cooked breakfast.
7. Talked to a neighbor.
8. Checked Facebook, email, weather, blogs and was bored.
8 Things I Look Forward To -
1. Every morning with my coffee.
2. Every evening with my family.
3. Every moment with my husband. When we aren't fighting. Okay, even when we are fighting.
4. One step closer to being healthier - physically, spiritually & mentally.
5. My 3 kids coming home from war make that everybody's children coming home from war.
5. The war ending.
6. Jesus returning.
8. Ali's trip to Houston!
8 Things I Wish For -
1. See above?
2. Okay that's a cop out. Freedom from depression.
3. A lap top computer.
4. More confidence.
5. My children's lives to be successful - not as the world sees success.
6. More time with people I love.
8. Ooops...skipped a few.
8 People I Tag -
1. Anyone who wants to play along!
And now folks for the trophy. Eh, hem. *Cue fanfare, marching band and confetti!* One of my favorite blogs to read is One Thing. Jenni is funny, smart, creative, interesting and REAL. There is much to learn about her and even much more to learn from her and I admire her so very much. YES, Jenni, I do believe that. All this and she has the nerve to give ME an award. Truth is, she was given this very same award and it seems the idea is to pass it forward after you've reveled in its glory. Jenni did not revel. Not one bit. She's so humble.
So here it is, The Most Highly Esteemed Ever Sought After Only A Few Can Aspire to Lemonade Award:
See, she said I take the Lemons That Life Hands Me and make Sweet Lemonade. I'm not sure I am deserving of such accolades but I do know some people who are...And the winners are (in no particular order other than alphabetical):
Ali - For taking those lemons thrown at you and squeezing back. Real hard. Ali, my hat is off to you. You make me laugh out loud often and wish I had such a cool accent! I am so looking forward to meeting you!
Candy Rant - For those of you who don't read Candy's blog, your loss. This is another woman of faith who is raw bones real with life. She takes the lemons and makes you wish life would have given you the gift of making lemons sound so dang tasty. And funny. And why didn't I ever see lemons that way? Truly a gifted writer. I anxiously await your book Candy!
Sharona - All of the above and then some. Sharon is one of my closest friends and I cherish her every word. Sharon has taken the puddles of lemons meted her way and learned to jump them. Splash all up in them. She revels in the scent for it means there has been victory over the lemon. She too is a gifted writer and I cannot wait to see her published.
and Nancy - Okay, you see the pattern here, but it bears repeating. Funny, smart, real, makes me laugh out loud, (sadly, she doesn't have an accent) A woman of faith who makes me long for God to speak to me as clearly as He does her. Of course she talks to Him more clearly than I do, so perhaps that's the key? She takes life's lemons and uses them to teach, makes them funny, and makes them seem not as sour as I know they have been. I am honored to know her and am glad that God has given me the chance to see Him work miracles in her life.
Ladies, do your **thing.
**EDIT - which means, post your award and tag someonee you know who you feel deserves the Lemonade Stand of Glory.
*Scratch that and make it THREE!
During the first 4 months after my weight-loss surgery the pounds rapidly melted off of me as if a magician were pulling pound after pound after pound from his sleeve then a wave of his hand and a tap of his wand, voila! Gone. Each day I greeted the scale with a smile and it always, always, smiled back. *Sigh* We had such a good thing. At least that is how I remember it.
Now I hate the damned thing. Alas, a little too much time together and the newness of a relationship wears thin. The magic is exposed for the slight of hand illusion that it is and the memories, once cherished, are now seemingly empty and worthless.
We quarrel constantly - rarely seeing eye to eye on anything that should matter between us. I long to see it, so we meet and it quickly goes bad and I'm back to calling it off - for good this time. We've tried time apart, seeing others and seeing one another only on certain days of the week. Sadly, nothing seems to bring repair to our broken relationship.
It and all it stands for and in between, torments me. So much so, I've named the scale Dementor. Soulless and soul-sucking it feeds on my positive emotions, my happiness and my good memories. Whenever I'm in it's presence I relive my worst memories. I could devour a hunk of chocolate after our dates and I regularly scream Expecto Patronum! at its cold, dark self.
So why continue on with the wretched affair? I can only say it is done so in hopes that this time it will be different. I mean there are still moments when it is actually good between us, telling me what it thinks I want to hear. Teasing me with just enough affection that I, despite everything else, want to stick around.
But, for the past 4? weeks my scale has read the same number, over and over, to me. Although I know the inches are moving (because my clothes grow steadily baggier) I long with all my heart for the number to decrease. I long for it way, too, much.
I am coming to the realization (yet again) that, this information (not affirmation!) dispensing mechanism holds too much weight in my life. While not truly a weight-bearing wall in the construct of my heart, I treat it as such. Fearful of collapse upon removal and giving it full credit for the support of my entire being. Ah but deep down and truthfully (somewhere), I know it to be a non-weight bearing wall for it only supports itself.
In my mind, I know the number displayed does not display who I truly am, nor could it measure my self-worth or indicate how I should feel. It is a scale and not a thermostat registering the degree of my value on any level. Information, not affirmation.
I know this. But do I live this? No. No, at least not every day. Or even every moment of every day. I am a work in progress. Under renovation, as most of us are. Daily I am breaking down the lie of that deceptive wall so that I can have a better view of the truth. In its place, windows and open spaces. More room for lesser things.
So tell me, what holds too much weight in your life? What do you give credit for full structural support where no credit is due? What non-load bearing wall(s) should come down? And what would you do with the space it would create once it's gone?
On my scale I've written the following:
THIS holds no weight.
And I believe it.
Born: December 10th, 2008 at 9:13 am
Weight: 155 lbs 3 oz
Lots of inches
Now go have a cigar!
Today is the 9 Month Anniversary of My Weight Loss Surgery!
Not sure all that needed to be capitalized, but hey, it's a major event to celebrate so why not...
To this day I've lost 155 lbs and I now weigh 160 lbs. I'm almost half 'n half! I am now wearing a size 8 or 10 depending on the brand. Hard to believe, a single digit size fits me.
And just like the pregnancy and birth of a child, the advent of my surgery has wrought many changes in my life. There has been much joy, there has been much loss, there are some sleepless nights and worries that plague me - some founded, others unfounded. There has been stretching. Weeping. Laughing. Kicking. Surprises. Sickness. Moodiness. Hello's & goodbyes. And all along these 9 months were the birth pangs of labor ushering in this new life. And there is so much more life now to live...
Want to see the pictures? Okay, okay, I'll be quiet now...
Same old fuzzy picture in the kitchen side view...Add in one Sunny dog eating breakfast.
Love this next one. Look at me hiding way in the back, arms crossed, leg kicked out...These gorgeous ladies were decorating the Education Suite tree. Rather, they were supervising the decoration of the tree. Apparently Rae was not happy with the placement of an ornament...
They say it takes a tribe to raise a child, I believe the same goes for every journey in our life. I say it takes a tribe to get us through, and oh how I love my tribe! You have cheered me on so! Keep taking the steps with me, big or small we can't journey it alone.
It is kind of scary how spot on about me this actually is.
You Are an Ingrid!
You are an Ingrid -- "I am unique"
Ingrids have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.
How to Get Along with Me
- * Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.
- * Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
- * Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
- * Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
- * Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!
What I Like About Being an Ingrid
- * my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level
- * my ability to establish warm connections with people
- * admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life
- * my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor
- * being unique and being seen as unique by others
- * having aesthetic sensibilities
- * being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me
What's Hard About Being an Ingrid
- * experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair
- * feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved
- * feeling guilty when I disappoint people
- * feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me
- * expecting too much from myself and life
- * fearing being abandoned
- * obsessing over resentments
- * longing for what I don't have
Ingrids as Children Often
- * have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games
- * are very sensitive
- * feel that they don't fit in
- * believe they are missing something that other people have
- * attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.
- * become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood
- * feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)
Ingrids as Parents
- * help their children become who they really are
- * support their children's creativity and originality
- * are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings
- * are sometimes overly critical or overly protective
- * are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed
So, what do you think? Sounds just like me right? Now tell me, who are you?