2 am Thoughts

My eyes pop open and I am wide awake. So begins the battle of me against my body. My mind against me sleeping. And the thoughts creep in...

Why do they say "you're preaching to the choir" when the choir doesn't actually listen? At least when I was in the choir I didn't. I was too busy watching the annoying kid squirm in his seat and bug his mom for gum and pester his sister and get up and go the bathroom for the third time.

Speaking of, I gotta go to the bathroom.

And besides the kid, why in the world did that lady in the front row think that big ol' hat was a good idea? And then you have to make sure you are sitting at a good angle with my knees just so (no choir robes). Hey, where is that kid going now?

Turn over. Check the clock. Sigh.

"Go to sleep Dana."

"I'm trying."

The guy who wrote "when it's cold outside, I've got the month of May" must have lived in the south. What was he rhyming May with? Why can't I remember that? You're tired. So, I know that song, who doesn't know that song, I should know the word that rhymes with May! When it's cold outside...no, I can't remember. Gah!

Turn over, fluff pillow, straighten sheets, nudge snoring husband, check the clock, ignore bladder...

Sweet Caroline, bom, bom, bom. Good times...Oh heck no! Get it out of my head!

It is hot in here. It seems hotter than it was a minute ago. Gosh how do Muslim women stand summer?

GO. TO. SLEEP!

Why don't I have a problem sleeping at 5 am when the alarm is about to ring...yet at 2 am when I have PLENTY O' TIME to snooze I seem to find it the most difficult task to carry out.

Warm, touching warm, reaching out....NO. MUST. SING. SOMETHING. ELSE...

Cloudy day! That's what he was rhyming with May. Sigh. Yeah, he must have lived in the south. May ain't so warm up north. Is it? Huh, I really don't know that do I. I will have to Google that...

Bladder is screaming. Go away bladder...if I get up I will really be awake.

Hear my dog coming down the hall. Sit up in bed, heart racing, squinting in the dark, making sure it actually is my dog coming down the hall...

It is. Whew. Flop back down on bed.

The dog must know I can't sleep. How do they know these things?

He whimpers beside me.

No. If I let you out I will have to let the other one out then I have to wait for you to come back in. Then I will want some water. Then I will really have to pee and all that is just wasted time I could be using for sleep. No you can just go away.

Money talks, but it can't sing and dance and it don't walk. As long as I have you here with me, I'd much rather be, forever in bluejeans babe...

Okay, must pee.

Get up. Go. Let BOTH dogs out. Get water. Wait for them to want back in. Let them back in. Go back to bed.

Fluff pillow. Straighten sheets. Check the clock.

4:45 am.

So...yawn...sleepy.

Nod off.

15 minutes later alarm rings. And I can't wake up.