Did you hear the one about the fat lady who....?

Well the last post went over like vegetable night with my kids.

Let's try this again shall we? NO, not a repeat of the last post. Something entirely different.

I've struggled and struggled with how to write this post. I started out writing the history behind the news I'm about to share, but it became so danged mopey. Besides, it would take several pages and we all know I'm long winded already. :-)

Then I tried to take the funny route, but just not sure how to go about that because in reality the whole thing is not funny.

So the only way I can do this is to just jump into it and go from there.

On March 10th I am going to have gastric bypass surgery.

I know all the possible complications. I know all the difficulties, horror stories and what ifs.

But I also know that I've been overweight all my life, struggled with an eating disorder for 13 years and I am now morbidly obese and have been for 10 years.

I've tried every diet, lifestyle change, and pill faithfully. Even medicine, good old excercise and low-caloric intake. Bottom line, my years of abusing my body have made it very resistant to anything I do. I've seen Dieticians, Endocrinologists and Nutritionists. They all agree.

1 1/2 years ago my Dr. finally agreed we need to pursue this avenue (he was very much against it before). Last year we sent in a request, feeling we had met all the guidelines and requirements only to have my insurance company deny me.

At first I was depressed, then I just became numb. I wouldn't discuss it at all. I said over and over that I wasn't mad at God, He is in control after all and He is good no matter what. That is what my mind and mouth said, but my actions spoke differently. I pulled away and withdrew from our daily talks.

It took time but I've since crawled out of the pit of self pity and despair and quietly walked back towards the Father in timid trust.

I am excited beyond any words I could put on this blog. I am in no way afraid or worried. I am at complete peace.

I am looking forward to the many changes this will bring to my life. Mostly I will once again want to be active with my family. See I usually stay home and read or write when they go for a bike ride or head to the park. So I have 2 goals that I want to share here with you:

1. Going bike riding with my family.
WITHOUT the image of a circus elephant riding around in my mind. :)

and...

2. Going horseback riding with my daughter.
WITHOUT the poor horse crying "Why me Lord?!?!" when I try to saddle up. :)

And I am having just as much trouble ending the dang post as I did starting it.....

Okay, bye!