Poor, poor, pitiful me...

I was diagnosed as being diabetic earlier this week. I cannot begin tell you what a blow to my heart this was. I am a large woman who has struggled with my weight for so long and I have really fought hard to change that fact. I have recently started a journey towards having weight loss surgery. I know there are plenty of naysayers out there, and that's fine. But you don't know my story and you don't wear my shoes. Diabetes will be one more reason for the insurance company to say yes, yeah, that's not enough reason to be okay with having it. I have been mopey about it the past few days and it's been really pitiful, I mean really pitiful. I have tried to turn the glass upside down, giving myself little pep talks, kicks in the butt, bringing scripture to the pity party etc. But nothing worked like seeing my mom in the hospital one night this week.

My mom Cory suffered from a massive stroke over 14 years ago. A stroke so massive it left half of her brain completely damaged and half of her body very much paralyzed. But this monster didn't paralyze her sense of humor, she still has all of that in tact! The other thing the stroke didn't paralyze is her absolute trust in the love & goodness of God. She has been in the hospital several times recently due to ulcers lining her esophagus. This last time she was put through some pretty rough tests and treatments. Mom took it all with the grace and dignity she had left. The other night the nurses were working her up pretty good and when they were finished with their necessary evil she turned to me and told me "I watched Billy Graham the other night on tv and they sang How Great Thou Art and I sang with them. And it hit me that He is God and He is great and He is my savior and my soul does sing to Him."
I wept. I have it made, diabetes and all. And her, well, Cory has laid in a bed, not doing anything other than watching tv, reading books, being changed, bathed & dressed by others for 14 years and yet her soul still sings to Him. Amazing.

She then proceeded to tell me that she preferred to pray to Jesus because God was too old to have a clue what she was talking about.

I laughed through my tears.
(Have you been watching Talladega Nights mom?)

I hope to hold on with the same amount of faith for however long it takes. I hope my sense of humor stays in tact too! So I guess I will put the whine and cheese away for now.