Too Many Things...

"Girl, you are just too many things!"

A friend of mine used to say that to me all the time. I haven't seen him in forever and I think about him often. And trust me when I say, not in that way.

I knew him when I worked at the hospital in the pharmacy, he worked across the hall in respiratory therapy. We would see each other all over the hospital and often have lunch together. And he always, always made me laugh.

He reminded me of Geraldine. Sadly, some of you (probably most of you) are asking just who the heck is Geraldine? Below is a little educational video. Go ahead, learn something.

Oh Killah honey, you know "What you see is what you get!" Geraldine was the persona that embodied the comic genius that was Flip Wilson. For the younger crowd, he would be a forerunner to say, Wayne Brady.

But truly neither Geraldine, Flip nor my old friend at the hospital have anything to do with this post.

The Too Many Things? Well, that refers to too many things to blog about, too many things not important enough to garner one post and too many things going on in my life keeping me from blogging.

What in all of creation could possibly keep me from the blog world I so dearly love?

Oh dearies, things like hellish mutant bacteria on steroids violently invading our home. Arriving with their luggages full of all manor of vile symptoms. And like a relative during the holidays, they will not take a hint that it is time for them to leave.

Things like the dreaded phrase 'vacation is over' 3 words that strike fear in the hearts of men, women and children all over the world. The significance of those 3 expletives being the cause of tempers rising up from the very depths which you buried them under. Buried deep under things such as naps and sleeping in and long lunches with friends and naps. Rising up and attacking those around you who dare expect you to work your first days back and be happy about it. Sapping every precious ounce of stress free moments and relaxation you had wrung from your time away within minutes of your return.


And it's not like I've been without fodder. I just can't seem to make much out of what I've been given.

For instance...

I think my dog is a cross dresser.

Absurd you say? Well then, explain this - he regularly shops. Yes, shops. He goes to rooms looking for items and brings them to his crate or wherever he is adding to his collection at the moment.

And not just any items. Oh no. Almost always he shops for items that only a woman would want. Lacy or flowery bras for instance. Or fuzzy pink floppy top hats. Or dress shoes. And it's not just that he shops for them. He proceeds shall I put this?...enjoy them, in a way that only a woman would.

It is really very hard to explain. But suffice it to say, these items of interest do not become chew toys, do not get buried, they do not in any way shape or form become his bedding. It is more like, he um, shows them off.

"Look what I have found! And it was on sale too!!"

Let me see, let me see, what else have I wanted to share with you.

Oh yeah, my kids are getting braces. First the dentist will pull teeth out of their tiny crowded mouths and then the braces go on. They need them badly too! That said, we will be having a steady diet of ramen noodles and beans. Not together.

The blessed relief that is ice cold winter is gone. Sniff. The first week of January ushered in typical Houston heat and mugginess. Being well insulated I am not a fan of anything over say 55 degrees. Alas, today should bring a little cooler weather and I am truly grateful for not having the havoc wreaked upon us that has been across much of the country by snow, tornados and rain.

I mentioned last year was the year the muffin stayed down, this year I have determined to 'Just keep swimming'. It is what I tell myself when the energy begins to wane in the battle that is sometimes life. That is why you see Dory next to my name. That, and I am extremely forgetful, dingy, and loyal.

On another blog I read that I just cannot get enough of, there was this post. As her posts often do, this one made me think. I wondered what word will be my word for this year. What recurring message will I give to myself? If "Just keep swimming" is my phrase, what is the word? I commented on the post that inspire is a word that comes to mind, but can be considered cheesy or perhaps is overused in the Christian realm. God breathed. I need more of His breath to be sure. So I think my word for the year is breathe. Breathe both in and out. Breathe Him in and let go of the breath I hold onto - my life. Stop holding my breath like a pouty toddler trying to get my way and breathe. Stop holding my breath in fear of what may come and breathe. Breathe in and out. I wrote about that on this post and I think it is a good daily reminder.

One last thing. And she wanted me to tell ya'll this:

My daughter was giving little kisses to the cross dressing dog the other day.

Right on the mouth. I know, ew. But I think she liked his strawberry glitter lip gloss...

I told her "Elena, you keep kissing that dog and you are going to get all kinds of germs. Not to mention boys won't...JUST keep kissing the dog. Just keep kissing the dog."

She laughed. She thinks I'm kidding.


  1. There's the Dana we all love and missed in the blogging world! :)

    BTW, my dog will only seek out my Victoria's Secret underwear. Never mind that I purposefully leave out the underwear from Target...he walks by those and heads right for the expensive ones.

  2. Ah, Flip Wilson. A name I haven't heard in ages...thanks for the memories. I have to go now, comes the judge! :-)

  3. Kelly,
    Victoria's Secret? That is an expensive habit!

    Wow! I am honored, I am glad you stopped by...
    I am showing my grays by admitting it, but I grew up watching the Flip Wilson show. I love him!

  4. Confession: I think my dog may be a homosexual. We like to call him Princess.
    And to make it worse he HATES wearing any sort of clothing. But when Becky was moving out she put a thong on him. He wore it. All night. No fight, he (gulp) liked it I think. I have pictures.

  5. this! Nice touch with the Flip Wilson reference. The dog story is too funny.

    By the way, lots of smiles as I read this and a few laughs as well. No tears were shed in the writing of this comment.

  6. Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about the germies invading. That, coupled with "vacation is over" (SOB!!) does indeed make for some sad times. I hope you all feel better soon.

    Cross dressing doggy...reminds me of the Free To Be You And Me album in which Dick Cavett tries to figure out the gender of his dog by analyzing the things he likes to do ("My Dog is a Plumber" was the track name)

    Blither, ramble...I'll shut up now...

  7. Jen,
    Hilarious! I wanted to say that but I don't know if a castrated dog can be gay? So I figured crossdresser is a little more appropriate so to speak.

    I love my dogs, they make me laugh. I'm a little disappointed that you didn't shed a tear. I am going to have to work on it...

    Aw, thanks! Oh I wish my dog was a plumber, that would save us so much money.
    My dog is male model. The other one is a security guard. Sigh, I had such high hopes for them. Hey, don't dare stop blithering or rambling, I love both! It's not like I never do that on my blog your blog for that matter!

  8. "My daughter was giving little kisses to the cross dressing dog the other day."

    This is the first sentence of your memoir. PLEASE?!

  9. pictures

    we need pictures of the cross dressing dog.

  10. Candy,
    Oh that would be interesting...The title could be something like "Memories, If I Had One." Hope it's ok to link to you. I actually would like to put you on my 'People to See' list. That is if you would allow me the honor.

    If he would hold still long enough...most pictures we have of him are a little black blur with a pink boa trailing behind him.


and remember, words are my love language...