Things I must remember to do every day:
A reminder to breathe? To you it may sound silly, but I often forget to do these things, especially the breathe part. Throughout the day I will find that I have been holding my breath, I do this so often that I feel I must need a reminder, even several reminders. You would think all of these normal little acts of living would just come to me, but they don't. There have even been moments in my life that I have purposely ignored each one of these requirements.
But mostly I forget. I get wrapped up in the attempt to carry on to the next stop. Get things done and move on. For me most days are a struggle to stay afloat. Some days I'm drifting on a nice raft, kicked back and sipping my tea. Other days I am overboard fighting the on-coming current while doggy paddling for my life.
Yesterday or today for example.
We got a phone call from the school yesterday to come and get Eddie...he was having a crisis and unable to cope. Sounds childsh unless you understand the way an Autistic will try to cope when he is overwhelmed, like banging their head against a wall real hard, repeatedly. Which is what Eddie had been doing. When we got to the school he was so turned inward it took him a while to realize we were there. We talked calmly with the school psychiatrist for a few minutes, all the while in my head I'm screaming. Eddie began to cry, a good sign.
I know that part of this is due to the fact that he decided 4 days ago that he was no longer going to take his medicine and short of netting him, sitting on him and using a long straw to blow it into the back of his throat like some wild animal, I've tried everything. Yesterday he started taking it again. There are just some things we need to learn by falling right down on our rears. Those are the hardest lessons.
This is where and when I have to remind myself, breathe, love, listen, pray, breathe, laugh, hope, breathe, listen, trust...
This is where I have to remind him to do the same.
Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him
For the help of His presence.