My beloved hubby and I work together. We are out the door and on our way usually around 7 am. After the mad rush of getting everyone ready and off to school, grabbing last minute items and locking up the dogs we enjoy the nice quiet ride to work. Okay, well I just lied. Oh we are quiet, but no one enjoys it much. Jesse is ever pressed to make it to work 1 second faster than the next guy and I am ever pressed not to wet my pants or have a stroke. The ride home is much nicer...
This morning this beautiful love song was stuck in my head. Go ahead take a listen yourself...
Gah!!! Help me get this out of my head!!! Quick! Turn on the radio. Gnarles is singing in a voice that belies his size...
Does that make me crazy? Does that make me craaaaazy?
NOOOOOO...change the station NOW...
Stevie Wonder (whew, much better) is asking me to tell him if I really love him...yes Stevie I heart you and I heart you for jammin' with me when I am half dead.
You call my name, OOOH so sweet
I take out my make-up and try to apply some life to the face in the mirror, Jesse is in the left lane, no the right, le,r he slams on the brakes and honks. Meanwhile I'm pulling the fibers from my mascara brush out of my cornea.
I finish up my picasso and put away the make-up, the lady next to me is tapping her steering wheel. I reach over and change the channel and there's Michael Jackson when he was still cool, you know when he was like 10 years old and asking his baby to give him one more chance...
I start doing the Jackson Five moves in my seat...the lady next to me smiles in admiration or fear one of the two.
This morning we had to stop at the ATM, it is Friday. Did you know that the voice of Capital One's ATM Machines is British? If your's is not I would complain. She is so proper telling us to "Please wait while I process your transaction." All Princess like. Sigh, I wish I had an accent...
Jen in New Jersey is saying you do Dana, you do. Not that she's heard me, but she knows I'm from Texas...And everyone knows that people from Texas have a Southern drawl and ride around on their horses wearing their boots and hats...NOT. (Thanks for my Krimpets Jen!! They are on the menu for dessert!) But I mean a cool accent. Like my co-worker from Australia. LOVE to hear him talk. I think if he said "would you like fries with that" it would be so very interesting. Then there's my co-worker Georgevka. She sounds like Natasha Fatale so I always tell her to say Moose and Squirrel or Boris Dahlink!
Oh sorry...I ran a little off course there. Where was I? Oh yes, the ATM. I figure this is a good time to grab a sip of my coffee, Her Highness says "Thank you for using Capital One". I giggle and J takes off shifting gears not so smooth like...my coffee - not a drop spilled - goes back into the cup holder before I wear it.
We pull into the parking lot alive and with only one injury to speak of. We get out, gather our belongings and the love of my life turns to me and says
Mi llamo Mike, mi llamo Mike la da da da da!!
Morning Drive
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i hate that craaaazy song! but i dont understand the last line on your post...
ReplyDeleteOh thank you for sharing that! That is just too hilarious! And I understood all but one word (I think I just didn't listen fast enough). Oh, and dude, it's once (on-say)!
ReplyDeleteHola Dana. I would use an exclamation mark, but donde esta en mi keyboard...or board de key. I have never heard that song and I love it! What an international post this is...
ReplyDeletei'm sure you have a lovely texas drawl, and i am SO disappointed to learn that texans don't wear cowboy hats and boots all the time!!!
ReplyDeletei can't wait to hear your feedback on the krimpets....were they squished?
I needed this post at 10 am this morning. Thanks for the laugh, amiga!
ReplyDeleteLMS
You are too funny, girl. I am thrilled you had better luck with your coffee this morning than I did.
ReplyDeleteHAHA i love the spanish love song! well what i really love is that i can understand it without taking a semester of spanish in my life...i blame it on living in houston. very funny post..had me laughing out loud!
ReplyDeletep.s. does that make me craaaaaaazy is now in my head. thank you.
ReplyDeleteI liked the part about pulling the fibers out of your cornea. Don't ask me why - it just made me laugh!
ReplyDeletetht is too much for a friday morning. goodness. i wake up at 7:30... some how put on the necessary clothes to meet dress code... some how safely get here with my eyes half open... and usually get to my desk by 8:01 (hey it's friday).
ReplyDeleterAccents. It is a strange fact that here in Northern Ireland we don't have an accent;)
ReplyDelete