Full Disclosure

Some weeks back I mentioned in a particular post the fact that I was enjoying a level of deception that I'd not ventured before. I was both pretending & pre-tending and could not reveal the details of my doings and goings on.

Well, now I can. And as I promised, I can do it with pictures!

This, my lovelies, is my beloved. I know, he is handsome. And he is my knight in shining armor.

My beloved, Sir Jesse, turns 50 today. 50!?!? Yes, 50. Shut up, 50!

I've known he was going to turn 50 for sometime. Cause I is smart like that.

In fact I've given him quite a bit of teasing since he was about 40 or so. I would always tell him, "DUDE, you are like, almost 50." Or I would say, "Hey babe, bust out that AARP card and get us some sweet discounts." Or, "Hey hon, put down your cane and let's dance!" He took it well. He is a good sport.

As he should be. After all, he is married to me.

(That isn't a picture of me. Duh. But it is some lovely artwork done by my daughter when she was quite young. She called it "Love in Seattle With People Screaming at a Band JUGGLE MONKEY'S WITH YOUR FACE CRAZY PEOPLE." I'm not kidding. Appropriate title for the picture as well as this post, don't you think?)

Okay, so where was I? Oh yes, husband, 50, deception. Got it. So, since I know that you only turn 50 once in your life, I knew this party had to be big. BIG. Like the title of my daughter's drawing. Well thought out and planned beyond planning.

I had to start with getting my house in order. You see we bought our lovely bit of earth 2 years ago. Our home is 50 years old, just like my beloved. And unlike Sir Jesse, showing some aging. I had to whip it into shape.

First some painting. This is my new bedroom. (new to me because someone named eMiLy lived with us before and she had the bedroom and then she moved out and we got the bedroom and a new bed...) Some of the furniture is about to be sanded and stained to match the new bed. No, it won't be on the pages of Southern Living or House Beautiful. But they and Martha can just go decorate a block of cheese for all I care. I love it.

The last picture is another one of my daughter's paintings. I don't know the title - but it is my favorite painting. Van Gogh, Renoir, Degas, Monet & Moya. They all belong in the Louvre.

Then there were some minor repairs. I don't have pictures. Sorry.

Then I had to invite folks. If you know my husband he is Mr. Social. He likes almost everyone and they all love him. He also comes from a very large family.

Large as in number, not girth.

So the list was long.

And if you know me, I am NOT Mrs. Social. I come from a very small family. I was practically an only child. And I don't like people. Okay, I'm kidding about that. Mostly. But I don't like people in my home. I just don't. If I know you are coming over I get very nervous and become, as my daughter calls me, the Cleaning Nazi.

She is sooooo dramatical.

No that is not a word. But I once heard the very articulate Mr. Flava Flav say it and dang. It stuck with me. Not to mention a certain person who said it during a birthday party at a bowling alley. Corrected me no less.

Then I needed to decorate for Christmas. Cause that happens to be right around the big soiree de compleanos. I is also multi-lingual.

Our itty bitty tree.

That is the Houston rendition of snow.

No one plays it or the piano. We just like having it cause it looks real artsy like.

Oooh. Pretty lights.

I think our angel tree topper is bigger than our tree.

Another Houston snowflake. This one was from the blizzard of 1900.

I think this one is very cool. Black and white and artsy. I like artsy.

These little glass hearts were giving to me by my eMiLy. I love them.

I you'll look closely you will see that this picture is not framed. This was one of the many projects on the todo list. It is still on the todo list.

That's not all the decorations but I have to get on with the story.

I ordered the food. Cleaned. Lied.

Bought more food. Ordered the caked. Ordered the gift. Cleaned. Lied some more.

I rearranged the decorations. Cleaned. Lied some more.

Checked my lists about a million times. Checked the Evite a million times. Lied just a little bit more. Oh yeah, and I cleaned.

Again, my house is not that dirty. Truly. I just become a liiiiiiittttle bit nervous about people in my house. Okay? You know you got some issues too.

Here are some pictures of some of the horsey-durbs.

Mmmm, pita chips.

Mmmmm, hummus.

MMMMMMM!M!M!M!M!M!M! Diet coke!!!!

Sorry, I love my Diet Coke. And speaking of love. I had some accomplices. People I love and people who love me. I think they kind of heart Jesse too...

Accomplice #1. This is my BFF for 30 years (she hates when I say that so I say it as often as possible.) Candie. She is on my bed. She is once again posing all sexy. WHAT is that about?
She was responsible for gathering information, running surveillance, mapping, and interrogation. She was also the mole. (I think she enjoyed the interrogation the most. Sick.)

Accomplices #2 & 3. My beautiful BFF Sharona and my VBD (very beautiful daughter) Elena. Sharon was responsible for the same objectives as Candie as well as gathering optical evidence. Also known as photographer. She did a lovely job don't you think? Give her a round of applause ladies and gentlemen. Elena's mission was to be my slave. Poor girl, she was run ragged. And she did it with such a good spy attitude.

They are three amazing ladies and I could not have done it without them!

I also employed several other accomplices. Jesse's boss had to have J work the day of the party.

And my boss was to have Jesse price parts for his car to keep him away after work.

All our co-workers kept the secret.

And all our friends helped keep this operation covert.

The day went as planned and he called home just before meeting my boss for the "parts pricing". He asked about dinner and I said I would throw something together. Then I asked to him to get some pizzas since he was right by the pizza place.

The planning, the spying, the lying, the hard work and yes the cleaning, all payed off. He was very much surprised. He had no clue. Even when the caterer showed up with the adult food at the same time as he did with pizzas for the little ones.

Here are some more pictures from that night:

Here we are singing Happy Birthday. That is not a look of pain on his face, he is enjoying it.

People. In my house....

More people. In my house....

This is eMiLy, Jesse and 2 of his 9 sisters. Yes, I said nine.

He can't pick up that cake because he is now 501 years old. WAIT. 50. He is 50 years old. Thank you bakery girl for NOT following directions. That is supposed to be 50 ! Even a drawing didn't help. Oh well, it still tasted delicious!

Speaking of delicious, this was our salad. Oh, you thought I was going to mention Candie again? Silly. There was also chicken tetrazzini with penne pasta, stuffed mannicotti with 3 cheeses, and foccacia bread. Thank you Collina's for an excellent meal. And for saving me from having to cook for 40 people.

This was after the party, after the clean up and after the crowd went home. We were tired. And these lovely ladies are two of my beautiful (and favorite) nieces. Say hi Renee & Sam!

Oh wait. How did that get in here? *blushing* Silly me. That would be bragging to put that in here. It would also be bragging to say she is awarded one of these every semester.
Yeah, I wouldn't dare do that. :)

We are tired. It's time to go pass out. That was the party of the year. He loved it. I had a blast. I hurt for days afterwards and I didn't care. He was worth it. I love you Jesse!

Geesh. That was like the longest post ever. I am tired. I mean, it only took 2 hours, 3 diet cokes, about 10 reeses bell's (okay maybe 12) and 2 naproxen. Bye ya'll!


  1. Love the pictures of the party complete with festive Christmas decorations and a beautiful home.

    I was trying to see if your neighbor Dorinda was in any of these pictures, but then those who do bidness on the other side of the law are only found in mug shots.

  2. great pics... im sorry i was unable to be there but you need to call em cause saw a pic we need to discuss. MISS YOU

  3. Love the pictures...great job!

  4. Sorry that we missed it! House looked great, Jesse looked surprised. . . you done good!!


  5. Cracking. Me. UP!

    I loved all the pics of the house, but mostly the running commentary. You are too funny...I don't like people in my house either. Something else we have in common!

    Looks like it was a great party. You know they're good when you hurt for days afterwards! Happy Birthday to your knight! He doesn't look a day past 489.

  6. Dana, That is so fun! You are an awesome wife!

    Happy Birthday Jesse!

  7. Nancy,
    Thank you! She was here...she got a little crazy (if you know what I mean) and I had to ask her to leave.

    I am sure you and the boys will be at the next one. So, you understand why the elf was dressed that way now that we discussed it? No, I miss YOU!!!

    Thanks! Funny, I didn't get the email saying you commented...hmm.

    Thank you too. Again, didn't get a notice you commented...

    Coming from a lady who makes me laugh regularly, that is a huge compliment! Seems we do have a great bit in common.
    I should let you know I hurt because I have fibromyalgia and I ran around barefoot the whole day without my pain meds (I didn't notice due to the fact that I was too busy...)Otherwise peeps, my peeps anyway, will start making stuff up...

    Thanks girl! Can't wait to see what you do for your man when he turns 50! Like 30 years from now? :)

  8. I need to hire your photographer. She's pretty good.

    Now I'm going to take a humility pill. lol

    I was glad I could help!

  9. Shae,
    How did that pill go down?

    You deserve the applause (they are still clapping you know. the cat calls and whistles are hurting my ears)

    ...thank you again!


and remember, words are my love language...